Darling Baby Kay, today was Jo Jingles day again, and despite missing your mid-morning nap you kept yourself going right to the very end for the bubbles and the Goodbye song! No mean feat for someone so small who had been up like a June bee since 6.30am!!
This evening I am making Shepherd's Pie for tomorrow night's dinner and thinking about all the useful things I read on other people's blogs in the evenings when I am having my cup of tea. Like Lisa's Mint couscous which I will be trying some day very soon!! I could so easily spend the rest of my life doing what I am doing these days - looking after you and Daddy, cooking, learning to bake, sewing, reading, house-keeping, writing - being the Mummy and the Wife. And I tell you something sweetie, I have never been more tired, existed on less sleep, been seen so often in public without make-up, worn so many clothes more than once before washing or complained so often to your poor Daddy that my back hurts - but also never been happier or more content with my life. Strange but true!
Deep down I know that there are people in my life who are surprised that I haven't gone back to work now that you are approaching 10 months old, and that I am 'opting out' of the working world. From now on when people say, 'Oh, you don't work, do you?' I am going to say, 'Yes, actually I do. I just don't get paid for it.' I am not bothered by people's surprise at our choice, but sometimes I wonder whether I am doing justice to all the years of school and college, and the years I spent building up my career. Then I ask myself if I am happy now, and the answer is 'Yes, happier than I have ever been in my life.' I am going to learn to ignore the raised eyebrows and quiet discontent from those who see a different me to the one there was before I became a mother, and wonder where the old me went. I like to think that this is the old me, I was just underneath the 'outside me' that I had to put on in order to get on in the world!
I think of L - who has had to go back to work, and is so unhappy about it. She confided in me that if she were made redundant in the current economic downturn she wouldn't be remotely fussed about it, and would take it as a sign to try for baby #2. This is the right choice for our family, and for you, and especially for me.
At some point I am going to have to think about working again - in the 'turn up, clock in, sit at a desk and get paid at the end of the week sense.' But maybe, just maybe I'll come up with something that will let us have this life for the longer term. We shall see!
1 comment:
Shepherd's Pie sounds delicious. My daughter, BG, is always asking me to make it. I think I made it once in my entire life. I don't make nearly enough meat according to my child.
No matter what you do, people will comment. I had to return to work when I had my older daughter in 1987. I was very, very upset about it. I had no choice, as I carried the health insurance. I could go on and on about the state of health insurance in the USA. It is downright pathetic.
Anyway, my sister in law remarked, "Why did you even have a baby, if you weren't going to be with her?"
I had daughter number two in 1992. I again had to work. This was way worse, since she had health issues. The daycare women were wonderful, but I longed to stay at home. I finally got that chance when she was 19 months of age.
You can't win. I think being a SAHM is wonderful. I wish we lived in a time when that was the norm. When I was a child, we walked home from school for lunch. Our moms were all at home.
Sorry for writing so much. I look at your beautiful daughter's photo and I remember the excitement of watching a little one grow. It is the best feeling in the world.
Oh, and the couscous salad is yummy. My older daughter aka Miss Picky, took the recipe with her when she moved away. She is now trying to convince her new boyfriend to try it.
I believe you are six hours (?) ahead of us, so enjoy your evening. I am awaiting PG's arrival from school.
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